THE rubbishdump

399

2009-11-03T23:24:00.001+08:00

haha this is the 399th post. looks like i just dont want to reach 400.

anyway i've moved. i guess i'm just not comfortable with the fact that this place is so public. if u wanna know where i've moved to, feel free to ask. i'll tell u if ur meant to read it i guess. haha.

so long.

i'll be back... soon

2009-10-31T23:36:00.003+08:00

haha this place hasnt been visited for so long it stinks. sudden urge to come back and blog. maybe its so that i can set a checkpoint for myself. sudden realization that the timer is gonna start going into single digits soon. like wow time pass so fast and ur just being carried on with the ride.

so wats the most happening thing these 2 months? definitely not prelims. we've had so much exams this year its like just come and go. i tink its ridiculous that we've taken so much yet gained so little. so wats certain in the immediate future? that i'm going to serve my country in green uniform and green cap. green uniform ok, green cap not so much. but okay i'm damn sure i'll not be wearing green cap HAHA.

ok so life sucks. cos:
1. man utd lost to liverpool 0-1, and subsequently lost the lead.
2. cavs started 0-2. wtf.
3. the timer is gonna go into single digits in like, 5 minutes?

yeah well, life sucks but at least life's not fucked. i guess i can take comfort in that no? HAHA. cant wait for A's to be over then i can do watever i want for a month before i become botak and even more vulgar. damn. actually a part of my quite looking forward to army life. see the world, dont need use brains. whoooo.

oh anyway happy 6 months! ((((: wheee 6 months pass so fast. one month later is 7 months. then 8 months. then 9 months. then 10 months.... 10 years HAHAHA. at least i know even if i lose everything i still got you (:

once bitten twice shy

2009-08-02T21:43:00.001+08:00

就因曾经失去过，

所以，

真的不想历史重演把

trying very hard

2009-08-02T21:40:00.001+08:00

everyone's telling me to stand in their shoes.

has anyone tried to stand in mine?

lol

2009-07-13T23:05:00.002+08:00

sometimes u just cant help but exclaim wtf.

some things are just so ridiculous and incomprehensible.

i dont care and i dont want to care and i dont want to tink about them.

its like the theme of it all is to get numbed over and over again, until it becomes a habit.

开冷气

2009-06-23T22:57:00.002+08:00

记得在七届的 cd 里面听过这个故事。

“从前有个人名叫小菜。有一天，他被端走了。”

end of story.

类似版本的故事有很多种。

以下是其中一种。

“从前有个女孩子名叫小车。有一天她被嫁出去了。”

end of story.

意义

2009-06-23T22:37:00.001+08:00

不知意义对你来说，包含着什么，该如何体现。

对我来说，是不出尔反尔，不食言。

你呢？

虚

2009-06-04T22:22:00.001+08:00

原来这就是被掏空的滋味

says you

2009-06-01T22:29:00.001+08:00

you said i cant do it.

can you do it then?

its like the 4 words formed the blade and handle of a knife.

-stab-

witness greatness

2009-05-23T22:26:00.001+08:00

i was screaming in ecstasy when this shot, THE SHOT, went through this morning. this is why lebron is the MVP.

lets go cavs!

2009-05-23T21:30:00.003+08:00

times flies faster than a supersonic jet and sprints faster than usain bolt. okay lah time just travels damn fast. its like 1 more week of term left until the june hols. then its break for a one month non-holiday. sigh. the culmination of 12 years of studying seems just sround the corner, but yet so distant cos honestly i still cant see myself taking that exam 5 months from now. sometimes, motivation and momentum are just so hard to find.

first half of the year has sort of been a continuation of last year. busy over seemingly meaningless things. lagging in tutorials i shldnt be lagging in. wasting watever time i have away, whether it is free or not. guess i've never really been one to make good use of time. old habits just refuse to die. haha.

biggest difference has been not going baoguan for meetings on sundays anymore. really not used to it at first. for 3 years it was a habit, sundays at baoguan. xiao3 room, conference room, coffeeshops, tze char. seeing familiar faces, hearing familiar voices. not needing to tink abt anything else. officially retired on april 26th. thats like almost one month ago. probably my real second home. grew up there. 3 comms, each with their distinct character i guess. 9 jie was young, i was young. i still rmbr joking and laughing my ass off with lianfei during meetings. havent talked to that guy in a daaaaamn long time. jiamin's hair wasnt that long yet. mincong bought snacks almost every meeting. haha.

10 jie is the comm with fondest memories. wangguan and yinyue's jokes and laughter, jiamin mincong nishuai and xuchang who are like brothers and sisters, qite and zongjun's coldness, xiaohua the beacon of reason and xiping ever the model of excellence. haha. sports comm. camp comm. all the blood. all the sweat. all the tears. memories. fond ones. and we were real bonded. you could feel it. it was real. haha.

11 jie was a fresh experience. like helping to lead a comm when ur actually one of the youngest in it. and working with new ppl, new faces. it was really great watching the comm grow, watching ppl develop feelings for the organization, watching us put our all in sth we believed in. we're bonded, in a different way i guess.

now ppl are all over the place. in uni, applying for uni, in NS, ORD alr. they say good things always come to an end. i've nvr really bought into that. yeah it hasnt ended, its only just begun.

guess i've gotten used to not going for meetings. certainly got more time now. haha. oh well. miss the ppl though, and theres so much catching up to do.

time to buck up from next month onwards i guess. full steam ahead. probably the good thing about taking things easy so far is that i wont be running on fumes by the end of the year. i've got my own pace, no need to compare with other ppl i guess?

and in the meantime, there's only one thing on my mind for the rest of this last week (:

dedicated

2009-05-23T21:16:00.002+08:00

hi to all avid readers of my blog from 6K.

ur classmate is fine and nothing much has happened haha. so theres no need to be too worried! thanks for all ur concern though.

by the way you are all free to tag my blog whenever u visit cos as u can see the board is abit dead. HAHA.

in the meantime if theres sth really wrong with her u can always tell me about it.

oh and dont bully her yah? (:

hold on

2009-05-19T22:37:00.002+08:00

they always say - u need to do wats got to be done.

they just dont know wat a painful decision it can be sometimes.

ur right. circumstances change. apparently people with tunnel vision are more determined to get to where they want to be. but when ur in a tunnel u cant accommodate other ppl with u.

so we made a decision. its the best thing that can happen now i guess.

i'll wait. will you?

trash heap

2009-05-16T22:58:00.002+08:00

this place is so dead i wonder why i keep coming back. about the only use for my blog now is for bloghopping using the link on the right LOL.

just lost all feel for blogging i guess. when i first started this place it was an avenue to write down and organise my own thoughts so that i wont die of overburdening myself with my own emotions. i guess i've nvr really been good with expressing certain emotions vocally. i dont really confide in ppl. so this place came about to dump all my thoughts and let ppl make their own judgments for themselves.

guess somewhere along the way we tend to realise that certain things are best left unsaid, best left to ourselves. its like, u log in and type one whole draft of shit and end up deleting the drafts. some ppl rant to themselves on their blogs, but nvr actually post them. but they keep those drafts. i rant on my blog and delete the drafts. thats the way it is. all bad feelings are gone once deleted.

and now? there's just no need to blog anymore. u find other avenues for ur thoughts to go to. moral of the story is that introspective people who dont talk much die of emotional stress. damn. sometimes its just best to feel numbed.

-

2009-05-15T23:23:00.001+08:00

sometimes, it doesnt feel the like.

and it just keeps coming back to bite.

maybe maybe

2009-05-06T21:48:00.002+08:00

perhaps i'm not able to catch up with myself.

struggling

2009-04-26T22:58:00.001+08:00

i dont know why he hell i am feeling this way, why the hell i am so affected.

this is just wrong, so damn wrong.

why is it so hard to reconcile all these emotions.

why dont u tell me?

i'm ewwww

2009-04-23T21:20:00.002+08:00

today has been a very tough day. woke up feeling so shagged i almost fell asleep showering. plus a sore throat so bad i wanted to cough my lungs out, by the time i got to sch all i wanted to do was to sleep sleep and sleep so i wouldnt feel so tortured. by the end of the day i thought i was having a fever. speak about scaring urself. but was coughing so badly the whole day i thought i was gonna cough up blood any second. zzz..

fortunately enough i'm feeling better now. would have died if i needed to do a lab report while sick or sth. sch is really such a pain in the ass ppl are already counting down to the end of the A levels when really wat we shld be doing is count down to the start of it.

at least i got that part of life outside of sch.

jiuzhi is this sunday. suddenly 3 years in zaobao exco would have flown by. oh well. perhaps on sunday i'll look back and realise how much i've changed over these 3 years. in fact i can look back at how life has changed so much over the past year, let alone the past 3 years. life changes. circumstances change. people change.

they say change is the only constant. maybe one day, things should just remain constant for a change.

ok incoherence shall stop here lest i start ranting. back to the dumb lab report. will i be glad once tonight is over.

gg xx

2009-04-19T22:10:00.001+08:00

i'm in a daze. suddenly everything just piles on.

cant wait for this week to be over, when it hasnt even started.

speak of being fucked.

CHOP

2009-04-18T20:17:00.004+08:00

today has been a mother &*$& hot day. and i'm partially burnt from all the bball. sian.

so today was ORA. the 6th time it's been held since i entered raffles and only the 2nd time i've gone. and i only went cos i got "encouraged" into going by tew and my very dear civics tutor. like who the hell would want to drag him/herself up like its a normal sch day on a sat and waste almost 5 hours of his/her life away when he/she can sleep in like a pig right?

not me.

ended up doing a combination of playing bball with zhengjun and stoning the rest of the day away. this year's event was super cluttered =/// met loke in the morning (and helped zhengjun help her carry 10000 t shirts to the band room) and weiting who was having council camp.

speaking of which, she finally didnt slap/whack me. why?

"today dont whack you lah u so sweaty" -.-

had PW group "celebratory" lunch after ORA! which is no celebration i tink we lost the mood long ago but still they're always good company! tew decided to be nice and help me spam cheese on my pizza, with ppl staring. LOL. win.

oh well. time to carry on reading up for my lab report.

people ask why i've become happier,
cos they don't know that you are my greatest joy.

more than words can say

2009-04-16T23:01:00.003+08:00

its cos many things are easier said than done, that words have to be backed up by actions.

and then there are some things that are easier done than said.

thats why some things that we do, need no explanation.

get lost.

2009-04-12T22:20:00.002+08:00

that feeling keeps coming back, paying a visit every once in a while.

go away go away go away.

SIGHHHH.

120%

2009-04-05T17:46:00.001+08:00

how do u know, when u have too much confidence. too much faith. too much belief.

u cant ever know for sure. so u just try ur best. and give ur all.

and leave the rest to fate.

因为，所以

2009-03-31T22:43:00.002+08:00

连最理智的人也有不理智的时刻
连最冷静的人也有最疯狂的时候
连最沉默的人也有大声呐喊的权利
连最冷漠的人也有被打动的那天

一生能有多少不理智的时刻
一生能有多少疯狂的时候
一生能有多少次能让我们放声大喊
一生能有多少次被真正地打动

因为这是信念
往往无理智可言
因为要追
追逐可以很疯狂
因为要对你说
大胆呐喊也没关系
因为我在等那一天
所以不会放弃

-yawn-

2009-03-30T20:24:00.005+08:00

sometimes, what i say gets lost in transition. so ppl misunderstand and watever, and 99% of the time i wont be bothered to clarify any shit. unless the misunderstanding is damn gross. or i tink wat u tink is impt. otherwise i dont care wat u tink. lol. just move on and it'll be as though nth happened.

then sometimes i crack jokes which are deemed as offensive, even though i dont mean any. so why bother saying i meant no harm, when if i explain things could get worse. if u know me u know i'm not serious. alternatively if ur really offended feel free to crack one abt me since if u can afford to do so it probably means i wont take offence lol.

okay the moral of the story is, if i go to great lengths to clarify sth to u, it means i care. otherwise i dont give a shit.

okay i just had to get that off my chest LOL. anw CTs were finally over even though i had H3 after that. decided to get out of house during weekend to get some fresh air.

went for last 11jie meeting ytd. oh well. time really flies. then nvr go camp totally dont recognize all the new peeps. haha. soon i'll be ancient LOL.

then went eat with 11jie peeps + aolan. hahaha. then heard joke of the week. courtesy of rx, who said sth abt king kong "beating aeroplanes" on the empire state building causing me and xuchang to burst into a prolonged laughing fit. that scene is just tai4 funny. HAHA. ok watever good for u if u understand the joke. if u dont, it means ur not meant to. LOL.

just now bro came to my room while i was away, and i saw this (in paint) after i got back:

just totally nth to do right LOL.

ok i'm just so bored even though theres stuff to do. byee.

why?

2009-03-29T23:24:00.000+08:00

because..

one week holiday

2009-03-21T22:53:00.002+08:00

just got off the phone with jiamin. who dropped by at camp for awhile. looks like everyone went back! all the lao3 ren2 whom i've not seen in more than a year! and i cant go sian sucks oh well. have to look forward to next year liao. haha.

this week has been some shit week. NTU for 4 days. waste time. now i'm underprepared for CTs yay. hahaha. ok watever. i'll judge myself in july.

ok next week CTs so i'll be taking hiatus for a week. unless theres sth i really really need to post here. and the prospects of that happening dont seem to be very good. hahaha.

and who needs rainbows,
if i could see you everyday.

lolmao

2009-03-15T22:17:00.002+08:00

thats 2 days of no mug gone. hahaha. holidays have started which is no holiday cos i'll be spending 4 days at NTU doing stupid lab work and going thru dumb lectures and tutorials OMG sian then fri go back sch for consultation and remedial. no time to mug for CTs liao = obviously no time for holidays. oh wells. talk abt having a good rest, when i cant even slp like a pig.

anw amongst all the madness which has been going on, there has been ONE LONE bright spark in life recently.......................

.....................................................................

THE OPENING OF SOME... i duno wat the place is called (oops) but ok thats beside the point. its some mini new shopping mall with residences. ok anw the most impt thing is I DO NOT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH SHIT FOOD IN YEW TEE ANYMORE. omg cause for joy!

so theres a long john's open, subway open, old chang kee open, koufu gonna open, burger king gonna open! like woooooot no more shitty food! hopefully the retarded family food court gets closed down or sth, and get replaced by.. i duno. some pool place there will be good. HAHA.

convicted

2009-03-12T21:55:00.002+08:00

conviction can be a very scary thing. cos it can make or break u.

like believing in what is right, or what is wrong.

conviction needs judgment. but conviction clouds judgment.

cos conviction is an unshakable belief in something without need for proof or evidence.

conviction is irrational.

and so are many many things in life.

today...

2009-03-10T23:17:00.004+08:00

where do i start?

less arrogance. less indifference.

more normalcy. more action.

this has been a really really draining term. and i desperately need to find a balance.

and i'm really sorry.

困

2009-03-07T22:10:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wish i can just disappear from this life.

no more responsibilities, no more work, no more shit, no more watever.

then i wonder, what i will miss out on.

crossroads

2009-03-05T23:14:00.002+08:00

i am 18, and i need to sort myself out.

it's time to start doing things i've told myself i'll do since forever.

time to stop wasting my time on unimportant stuff.

time to spend more time on important stuff.

time to go after what i really want.

time to study more, play less.

time to focus.

time to feel stressed.

time to stop wasting time.

i had ambitions. i lost them. i had motivation. i lost it. i had the right frame of mind. it went wrong. i had everything going before it grinded to a halt.

operation get back on the right track starts next week. after i've settled all my shit. and u wont ever bother me anymore. or i'll do to you what i do to anyone else who pissed me off.

sCOWl-ing

2009-03-04T21:43:00.001+08:00

2 kinds of ppl muquan ABSOLUTELY DETESTS MOST in this world:

1. control freaks
2. BLOODY NAGGY PEOPLE

ok disclaimer: if ppl nag at me for my own good, thats a different story.

but watever lah. 3 more bloody months before i make sure YOU TOTALLY DISAPPEAR FROM MY LIFE.

我，不知道

2009-03-01T00:02:00.001+08:00

如果退一步能海阔天空，
那这一步，
会有多艰难呢？

SLEEEEEEP

2009-02-28T22:46:00.002+08:00

today was a very stone day. its like damn bloody stone.

i woke up to go NTU, ended up sleeping in abit more. slept the whole way on the train. reached boon lay late by 10 min, huimin asked me why i so stone (cos i tired).

was supposed to sleep on bus ride to NTU, but didnt cos TV mobile was showing some gourmet show.

during experiment, was stoning. i duno why the expt got 1.5 hours waiting time. ended up sleeping again. LOL.

then went doctor see my back. slept on car ride there. slept when receiving acupuncture. slept on car ride to food center. luckily i nvr sleep when eating. then slept on the way to IMM. slept on the car when my mom went to buy stuff. slept on the way back home.

basically, i slept my day away. yay!

another week GONE

2009-02-28T00:01:00.002+08:00

weekend again! too bad 2 days nia. zzz.. next week is gonna be hectic.

went musicfeste with jiahui. rofl at gerald's comments while he was there. haha. thought the judging was quite lame but oh wells.

okay joke of the day:

after i said sth abt crys..

___crystaaal* says:
excuse me.
im going to smack you

мQ` just enjoy the moment says:
that's the 139th time u've said that

___crystaaal* says:
ok
i change
im going to...
do something to you
haha
put youinto a box and throw you into the pond
and then you can float into the ea
*sea
HAHA ok oops pond does not lead to sea.
forget what i just typed hahaha

мQ` just enjoy the moment says:
HAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I SHLD PUT THIS ON MY BLOG
LMAOLMAOLMAO
HAHA
LOLOLLLLL

ok watever. typical. HAHA OOPSSS!

urgh

2009-02-25T22:17:00.002+08:00

okay new bed is not working and my back is killing me again. shall contemplate seeing doctor on saturday. but liddat means saturday will be gone and if i go pre camp on sunday my weekend will be gone and thats not very good. zzzz..

today passed quite fast. though i cant stand math lectures anymore. the clock looks more interesting than the things being shown on the screen. wth. especially when ur lecturer goes "here in this case" every 7 seconds.

attended PSC scholarship talk after sch. its like the moment i sat down (was with yijun zhengjun nat and hongye), and took the brochure thingy i was like "eh wth didnt we attended this before?" so yeah i tink we did. main highlight of the talk was tea session. too bad not eclairs. LOL. but nvm got led to hodge lodge by chengwen to kope chocolate fondue HAHA.

ok here comes joke of the day. was on the bus with chengwen zhengjun and nat, to the interchange cos it was raining like some mad shit. so we sat at the back, with chengwen closest to the windows, then me, zhengjun and nat, who was sitting beside some pri sch kid (like at the other end of the long seat). so got one stop the pri sch kid tried to alight, but he couldnt (for obvious reasons). so i tink he squeeze and squeeze until nat got irritated and scolded him a STUPID FAT KID. LIKE WTH. WHEN ZHENGJUN TOLD ME I THOUGHT IS THE GUY SCOLD NAT LOL WIN ALR.

ok end of story.

off to do ~~important~~ stuff lol. byebye.

ZBZBZB

2009-02-24T22:14:00.003+08:00

wth i just realised i havent gone titong meetings in almost a month. and pre camp briefing is like, this sunday. time SERIOUSLY FLIES.

and i totally miss that place and the company. haha. i guess i really grew up in that place.

then after this sunday will be camp in another 3 weeks (which i probably cant go for. SIGH). then jiuzhi in april, then 3 years in titong exco officially ends. i wonder how i'll feel when 26th april comes. oh wells. haha. i guess i had my time.

and i only wanna talk to u now.

HELLO

2009-02-23T23:26:00.001+08:00

tmr is a long day.

good luck to crystal for attendence + member info + math test.

yah AND RMBR WAT I SAID HAHAH. (:

!

2009-02-23T22:06:00.001+08:00

and what if i say,

i wanna be ur eyes.

-YAWN-

2009-02-21T19:19:00.002+08:00

lol wth i was so tired i just buay tahan and went to take a nap. so up till now i've done nth today and have effectively wasted a day. good job. -.-

ytd was EA "post-mortem", and it was like we weren't planning to have one liddat. cos basically we did nth, only quan wei said some constructive stuff, while others chipped in with random comments while the rest were either slacking or fooling around or came late. HAHAHA. but we still rock. cos everyone went only for dinner. and then ppl got bored of waiting and decided to go home.

dinner was good cos i laughed more in that 2 hours than i laughed the whole week. ok maybe not, cos i've been trying not to laugh my ass off during GP lessons. and i took 2 videos ytd one of which was pretty vulgar and i'm still deciding whether to air to the whole world, but i'll probably be screwed after doing that so i guess no video.

ok i'm so tired even my thoughts are incoherent. BYE.

茫然

2009-02-19T18:33:00.002+08:00

muquan's mood has been sliding downhill since the start of the week.

its a combination of lack of sleep, the need to settle alot of stuff suddenly, as well as other issues close to the heart.

i tink its quite crazy that after tinking i had everything after control, everything seems to pile up again. its going to be another crazy 3 weeks to the end of term and frankly speaking i'm not really looking forward to the hols. wat with 4 days gone and probably not being able to attend zb camp (ultimate sian), then CTs after that. zzz..

and i totally didnt help myself for being so spur of the moment did i? now looking back i tink i was damn dumb wth wasnt things as it was really good? so now u sort of dig urself a hole and feel really confused. sigh. well at least one thing is for sure now. lolol.

i tink i need reassurances, not answers. and i'm sorry =/

otiero 2009!

2009-02-13T22:56:00.004+08:00

one week has passed since onight! time passes damn bloody fast.

this week has been used to catch up on work! yay! ok i am finally not lagging anymore woot.

anyway orientation was the bomb! i TOTALLY ENJOYED MYSELF (not including some volcanic moments). yes it was orientation all over again only this time we were OGLs instead of OGlings. haha.

OG rocks! HH10 - O'H WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA. LOL. (ok quite a retarded name i admit HAHA). but u guys ROCKED MY ORIENTATION WEEK! haha. from the stone start, to winning 5th in EA (DAMN PROUD OF UR), to getting all pumped for war games and for all the enthusiasm in doing other stuff for onight! for me THE moment was when ur started singing the song after results were announced for EA. haha. like me on stage hearing ur sing, very touched! (maybe cos i didnt learn the song LOL). oh wells. was great co-olging with isa and sabby too! heh.

of cos without all the planning there wouldnt have been orientation at all AND EA COMM ROCKS yEEAAAAAAAh WE ARE EXTREMELY AWESOME!!!!!!!

i cant overstate how much fun i had being in the sub comm. planning was pretty damn tiring with all the recce trips and having to rack our brains to tink of tasks and games. haha. but we made it man! ppl had fun! haha. nice work with xiaotung isis and jappy on TPY (yeah this time NO SCREW UPS) haha. AND DARREN FOONG FOR BEING THE ULTIMATE TANKER OMG UR DAMN PROO. and isaac and chengwen for pulling all of us in haha.

LOL so on thur me martin marvin darren and jappy went chengwen's house for sleepover. LOL DAMN FUN. play xbox and FEAST. HAHA.

at around 12am in the morning, we got hungry. so we ransacked his fridge.

chengwen: "discovers 2 packs of smoked beef and ham gone, in addition to one bottle of milk".
us: "eating!!"
chengwen: "wtf, this one normally take 2 weeks to finish, ur take 2 mins to finish."
us: "LOL. continue eating."
chengwen: "wah, come my house take my money (angbao money), drink my water, eat my food, use my electricity..."

LOL. but chengwen is totally a good host man. keep on asking if we want eat/drink. LOL i bet he secretly wanted us to ransack his fridge. haha!

went to slp at 3am. wtf. then chengwe's guailan alarm woke us up at 7am. everyone went "wtf turn that off" and went back to slp. wake up at 7.40am. thought eat liao then go pasir ris park. in the end all queue up to shower, and left at 8.20am, and reached there late. win. HAHA.

then onight! after onight everyone GOT DAMN HIGH SO WE STARTED DOING RANDOM CHEERS AND TAKING RANDOM PHOTOS YAY. LOL. EA guys taupokked chengwen. like totally after taking photo then "TAUPOK!!!!" then the next second he was under a pile. HAHA.

yeah but after leaving sch it was my turn. like LOL. totally i just get taupok outside hagen daz. win. i almost died luckily there were only 6 guys left and zongyi saved my life by trying to push some weight off haha!

ok i totally just miss orientation. SUN DANCE! STORYLINE! ahhhhh. oh and actually cheering my lungs out, i had no voice the whole week. ah wells. was a once in a lifetime experience. haha. and really really made alot of new friends! OTEAM ESP. EA MUST HAVE GATHERING SOMETIME! ISAAC HO TREAT ICECREAM. LOL!

OTEAM!

EXTREMELY AWESOME COMM!

HH10! (without me)

HH10! (with me)

effigy!

TAUPOK!!

cant see myself under the mess of bodies. oh well.

ORIEEENTATION

2009-02-04T22:31:00.002+08:00

wah damn shagged now. with aches all over, and a lost voice coming from a ripe to sore throat.

but orientation has been quite fun so far! OG becoming more and more enthu by the day, and being able to break ice by themselves is quite cool. totally makes our lives easier.

waking up extra early every day has been a real chore. wonder how many brain cells i've lost alr. damn draining.

oh wells. but its really fun even though we're not the ones playing. (actually the only game i wanna play is tower rush like whooo i almost abandoned my post as house base i/c to go play today HAHA).

and HH10 finished 5th at EA ytd! woot. so proud of them.

ok i'm damn incoherent. got many thoughts to type though. another day perhaps. hahaha. byee.

freaking sian

2009-02-01T22:00:00.002+08:00

orientation starts like tmr. so after like after at least 4 months of planning and 2 dry runs and many other DAMN LONG meetings/briefings, we're finally carrying the whole thing out for real.

ok i'm quite uncertain abt how this whole week will unfold. like, so many 未知数. quite sian really. i'm a very spontaneous enthu person so i'm either really enthu or really screwed. hahaha.

and did i say i really detest trashtalk ppl? like wtf. just shut up and play! so its like i was playing bball then got this trashtalk solo shitass demanding the ball everytime then trying to take it to the hole himself. like he damn good liddat. crazy shit. luckily not on same team as him i would have been more pissed.

wats wrong with ppl man!

#2

2009-01-22T22:24:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIUSUM!!

hope u like ur present! it was in my bag for a day HAHA! xD

yupps all the best for CO stuff and studies!! =DD

#1

2009-01-21T20:25:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VICTOR ONG!!

as of today onwards you can finally drink (legally). HAHA. anw thx for being such a bro (although zhengjun says u r his twin. ur not that old right?), but ur a great friend to have! hope u dont go back msia for good after this year muahaha. but watever it is ALL THE BEST FOR THE UPCOMING YEAR JIAYOU FIGHTING and watever LOL!

ok hope u liked ur ~~taupok~~/~~suchin's wallet~~/ur new wallet. haha! got deep meaning behind it one! and yongtaufoo stall auntie wished u happy bithday yo! LOL!

ok i tink i'm high cos CNY is coming. cant wait to get err... more sleep. wat, u mean u were tinking of something else?

MAN-day

2009-01-19T23:21:00.002+08:00

sch has been less boring and more entertaining than i expected.

maybe cos i self entertain. or am entertained pretty easily. besides the lectures (which are wth really DAMN boring), and GP tutorials (need i say more?), the rest are ok.

anw today was quite a retarded day. went oteam meeting in the morning to listen to some pep talks. then stoned at canteen with darren foong who was swearing left right center while i was doing my work. then he finally calmed down and did some work. then he kept his work and continued swearing. so much for being role models. HAHA.

then i thought of sth to say which will really cool the temperature down since its such a hot day. then i told tew during break.

me: "eh, viet got an isomer."
tew: "really? what?"
me: "CIS minh viet"

then tew started laughing quite hard and i was pretty impressed with myself. then tew started telling everyone else then i got even more impressed with myself. then suddenly i heard the unmistakenable trademake laughter which can only belong to weiting, who was drinking packet green tea without a straw. for a moment i thought she choked pls -.-

played bball after sch. weird things happen. like someone crashing ur game and acting retarded.

ok this is incoherent. bye i'm off to slp soon. LOL.

i hate numbers

2009-01-17T22:52:00.001+08:00

the weighing machine doesnt lie.

damn it.

ok i tink i'm maiming myself from overexertion. like busting my knees. and i feel pain when i cough or sneeze.

ouch.

open house

2009-01-14T22:47:00.002+08:00

wah i'm totally shagged from standing around the whole day and talking to random ppl trying to convince them how great our club is. why? cos today was open house! and for the first time in recent memory we're having actual sign-ups for ppl coming to open house because ~~rjc~~ ~~rijc~~ rjc decided we're too i********* that we dont need to i****** ppl to come to our sch. so we're just having a helluva of an open house for ppl to tour the sch one day before their sch starts.

ok watever. didnt really like that concept from the start. and some of the things i've heard ppl say doesnt sound really pleasant either. add to the fact that the school openly discriminates external CCAs and well, i dont really have a good impression of certain councillors now. i'm not going to brand everyone. neither am i going to name names. neither am i going to complain too much. trust me, i know our limitations. but i was just wondering where all the respect went.

anw i almost erupted in the morning. not cos of where the booth was located. but cos someone was trying very hard to piss me off. i tink i swore so loudly ppl in the booths beside us started staring. but nvm, at least i achieved my objective. some things just have to be said so ppl will wake up their idea. and its not as though i was picking a quarrel anw.

the rest of the day went smoother i guess. like strategising where to put posters up. going around slacking off. trying to psycho big groups of ppl. meeting random juniors. taking cock and trying not to make crys puke at the same time. oh and going to the stage and trying very hard to get words out of my mouth to make an announcement. i tink alaric is damn hilarious. haha.

sign ups were ok i guess. lesser than i expected. but we'll make do. quite looking forward to interviewing ppl. heh. maybe interviewing J2 intake like huiwen and alaric (?) will be more interesting LOL. but ok i duno how many J2 sign ups were like, serious. ><

zzz i'm tired and my knees hurt cos didnt really get to sit much all day. sometimes i wonder why i'm so hiong. not like i got anything to prove.

and i need stop being so vulgar. starting from like. now.

busy not busy

2009-01-13T23:10:00.002+08:00

i'm like more free now than i was during the hols.

goes to show how bloody busy i was.

i finally caught a movie today! with nat after open house preps.

Ip Man! very good movie. feel like watching again. HAHA.

ohh lala

2009-01-10T23:24:00.002+08:00

the past 2 days have been spent starting on work.

my hols has been a rousing success. cos i managed to play every single game i would want to play during the new year and get bored of every single one of them. the list includes: pokemon diamond on no$gba, fifa 09, PES 09, FM 2009, red alert 3, random frozen throne games, diablo 2.

which means i can focus on work! haha.

orientation dry run 2 has been damn exhausting. totally zonked out at the end of all 3 days. but very fun! heard alot of damn funny stories like really can laugh until u get diarrhoea (pun intended, but inside joke LMAO). haha. looking forward to orientation! co-ogls sabina and isabelle are fun people woot but i got same OG number as i did last year. lolol.

then i hope i can say bye to backaches soon. got new bed! its like go mattress shopping just go in and ask for the hardest mattress they have. LOL.

2 more days to sch. hope i can finish the most impt work by then! jiayou everyone!

a story

2009-01-10T23:09:00.002+08:00

ok this is totally random. crystal is very bored and she says she likes to read about herself so i volunteered to blog about her.

which is i got nth to blog about. ok nvm, let me tell everyone a story.

u noe everytime in all the stupid TV drama series and watever stories, the boss and the secretary always got scandal one right?

crystal is our club secretary!

end of story. yay!

changeee

2009-01-10T22:58:00.002+08:00

finally changed my blog layout! after like 20000 years!

lol ok i lied its closer to more than a year. but anw yes my old layout was on for more than a year and i was getting real bored of it so i changed before sch reopened and i had no time. haha.

but i'm havin a damn bad headache now :/ headache and neck strain must be the worst thing that can happen. somehow it keeps making u wanna slp. zzz..

说不出的感受多了一点感动

2009-01-06T23:13:00.002+08:00

成熟 - 迷路兵

been really hooked on this song for more than 2 months. duno why.

maybe it just stirs something in me.

false alarm

2009-01-06T20:29:00.002+08:00

just got home after dry run 2 day 1.

when msn loaded it said i had 27 unread emails. TWENTY-SEVEN. that only happened before january first!

then i opened and wah lucky all is ppl tag me on facebook. totally scare me pls.

i am now officially email-phobic.

countdown over!

2009-01-01T22:13:00.003+08:00

happy new year everyone! thanks to all who wished me through sms, and sorry if i didnt reply cos i was too caught up with other stuff but really appreciate them!

so Boon Lay countdown is finally over, and its been a hell of a roller coaster ride over the past 5 months or so. from all the hesitation and inexperience at the start to the assertion i started to set nearing the event, taking charge of wat i had to and culminating in a mini shouting match with one of the ppl from the event management over stuff i was really unhappy about. ok its all in the heat of the moment so everyone really had no hard feelings. after all, we managed to pull it off!

it's really been an experience of a lifetime organising such a big scale event, and i must say the GROs are really really smart, for reasons not convenient to be revealed here. but nonetheless, behind all the glamour and hype surrounding these events are really things that ppl dont see, like u only watch the stage performances, but dont really know wat's going on backstage. the stress you go through and the spontaniety u need to have cant really be described, u have to go through it urself and trust me, u dont wanna go through it.

basically decisions have to be made, and u really have to make them on the spot. some decisions u dont like, but they have to be made anyway. if there are clashing opinions, a compromise has to be made. though i guess if u really feel strongly about sth, u have to stand ur ground on it. most of the time, a compromise that is satisfactory for both parties will be made. that was really the whole theme of working backstage ytd.

so ytd was really tough. i basically survived on adrenaline the whole day, starting to lose my voice just 3 hours into the start of the day. the situation was quite luan4 i guess but we managed to work out everything anyway, which is wat really matters at the end of the day. had one ramly burger (which wasn't very nice) for lunch and nothing for dinner. no appetite. >< got sunburnt spending 4++ hours out in the open making sure performers' rehearsals go smoothly. choosing stage helpers like damn last min to last me through the night. then really trying to make sure the whole prog went smoothly while managing backstage. was really relieved after countdown, during fireworks, cos yes, we managed to do it.

anw there are so many ppl i wanna thank. family for being understanding/patient with me while i pissed myself off over doing shit work and basically had alot of times when i had to leave house at inconvenient times. the 2 erics and james and the rest of the adults for their guidance and the many many contacts provided. the rest of the exco for their support. (esp. yvonne for barricades and food and crys for not killing me with how i dealt with volunteers). my stage helpers (zhihao, hakim, hakim's fren, woosheng, cheryl ang, pingfang, chee for helping me get more and all the other random ppl) who really gave me a peace of mind while i was trying not to break down/blow up backstage.

and most imptly my co-prog comm i/cs jiahui and valencia for their immense help with the rest of the prog matters or else i would have died under the stress. seriously without u guys there wouldnt even be an event. thanks alot!!

but of cos there are perks that come with my position. haha! managed to take photo with mi2 lu4 bing1 (their live performance is OWN), mark lee (omg he was damn funny) and apple hong (very friendly!). it was quite amusing when hady mirza practically got MOBBED by students when he came out. like omg man.

ok so to put things in a nutshell, muquan is very grateful. this post is really wat i wanna say to the ppl. just a big fat THANK YOU. ok end of story. moving barricades tmr hahaha.

开

2008-12-25T00:42:00.000+08:00

如果，

每个人都能放开，看开，想得开

那么，

这个世界，

应该就不会那么乱吧。。。

oh the month (year) is ending already?

2008-12-22T22:16:00.002+08:00

i just realised:

3 days to christmas.
9 days to countdown.
no time already.

ok subconsciously i know la. but wth. no christmas mood at all. correction. no mood at all. haha. ok la i've nvr been a christmas person. i'm more of a CNY person. CNY rocks!

LOL watever. thats, just ONE month away. zomg.

ok jiayou for countdown! let's err, make it something nice. HAHA xD

haiz haiz haiz HAIZ

2008-12-21T23:12:00.002+08:00

not been feeling it these days. not sleeping well. how do u sleep well when u have some form of insomnia and when u finally fall asleep after 2 hours u have weird dreams and dont sleep well?

i duno wat worse things there can be in this world than being tired but not being able to fall asleep. the feeling SUCKS. wait. i've felt worse lately.

so other than being tired i've been really distracted lately. so maybe i've been tinking too much. but then again the signs havent really been good either. but then theres only myself to blame isnt there?

then Singapore goes and gets itself knocked out of AFF Suzuki Cup. after 1001 goalscoring opportunities. sigh. sometimes, luck just isnt on ur side. or rather, u didnt capitalise when u had the chance. ah well.

minister's briefing tmr. hope i'm focused enough.

2008-12-19T11:57:00.001+08:00

thanks :)

stop the bleeding

2008-12-18T23:44:00.002+08:00

had a nightmare ytd night. actually i have no idea wat was going on but i can vividly rmbr myself trying to grab onto sth. (as in i was really struggling to grab onto sth). so in real life i was snatching at air. then i woke up feeling like shit. wth..

to be relenting or relentless?

i tink i'm slowly figuring out the answer..

confessions

2008-12-16T22:38:00.002+08:00

sometimes, we just have that uncanny ability to sense wat is going on, and wat is coming next. or maybe that question has been popped so many times it didnt make sense for it not to be asked, especially in that context.

it was a question which i nvr felt i needed to let the whole world know about the answer. and i was perfectly sober when i answered that question. so i lied to myself to give the answer which needed to come out of my mouth. nvr felt more tortured telling a lie. lying to u. lying to me. maybe u had it figured out, or maybe u were satisfied with the answer.

when one became two, theres wasnt a need for deception. that would have been too blatant. no, you knew there was only ever going to be one answer to the second. and yes, i was sober.

so i killed a part of me yesterday, and revived another. somehow or rather i'm beginning to be more interested in wat u tink. is that it? really the end of it just like that? am i in for nothing if i persist? and then again, where was my persistence to start with.

ultimately, i dont know if i'll ever know how u tink. cos all along u've known mine and the ball has always been in ur court. but i'm pretty sure u'll read this, and know this is meant for u. i've nvr asked for much. if its really the end, then i just want to hark back to the past. re-discover that comfort zone we once had. when we were less like strangers (too strong a word to use).

cos i duno whether its you, or just me. cos some things are not just meant to be gotten over within days, within weeks, within months.

与其说是为了保护我自己
倒不如说
我的谎言，是为了保护你

TIRED

2008-12-14T23:59:00.003+08:00

"confucius say, man who run in front of car get tired. man who run behind car get exhausted"
-first heard from nathanael foong, duno whr he hear from one.

LOL. honestly speaking, i can actually see a tinge of humour in that line, but then it doesnt seem funny now. haha. (wth why i "haha" after sth funny). watever.

ok i'm like really burnt out now, hols are supposed to be the time u recharge but right now i feel so bloody tired. for me theres only 2 ways i get tired:
1. lack of sleep.
2. doing sth i detest

considering i am clocking reasonable amount of sleep, the reason why i am tired shld be no. 2. (wonders). aiya, its seriously not that bad, but u know, the ppl u work with matter, and one guy can spoil everything.

but i'm trying not to let one person affect my mood so much. just been more vulgar these days. i mean, wat can i do when i end every phone call with sth not very nice to hear when a certain someone calls. LOL.

ok i realised this has been a load of crap. and wat i thought..

wat i thought isnt important anymore. wat matters is, its wrong.

and i rally hope i can get out of this funk soon, cos i desperately need to hit the ground next year sprinting. read: not running. SPRINTING.

lets be honest..

2008-12-12T23:19:00.001+08:00

omg i wish my mailbox can stop getting spammed. i go out for 7 hours and receive 28 new emails none of which i have to read. and they're not really spam! :/

maybe shld just create a new email address altogether just for work. like wth. i'll have mailbox-phobia after the new year has passed.

and having convos about countdown and orientation while trying to play PES at the same time can be quite hardcore. especially when one of them is a mass convo. ><

ok i'm not pissed like really. to whoever tinks i'm pissed off with them: I AM NOT PISSED. no i am only really pissed with one person and i dont tink you read this anyway. HAHA.

why?

2008-12-11T23:41:00.001+08:00

thats for me to answer.

maybe, i started having doubts about it myself too.

boring

2008-12-10T00:22:00.000+08:00

and this template is getting as boring as my life.

i need a new blogskin!

4 months and counting

2008-12-10T00:17:00.003+08:00

i have a policy of not spending too long to solve a problem. like any problem.

so that makes you the most difficult puzzle i've had to solve in my entire life. cos i've worked for 4 months and i still havent got an answer.

just a random thought: am i supposed to know wat to say to you?

oh it also makes for the most patient wait by me. like ever.

orientation dry run

2008-11-29T22:29:00.003+08:00

wah damn tired now. 3 days of orientation dry run is really damn draining. and dry run 2 is 4 days long ><. lol so now i am nursing sore legs, and aching back and a sprained finger. well done.

dry run was quite fun i guess. all the way until the very very end when it got real boring and with the weather being so mother hot, everyone just shut off. first day was quite easy going for me, being EA. after song and dance (next year's batch dance is some fast sai4), icebreakers (which is break no ice cos almost everyone in the "OG" knew each other), we had lunch (the food was, bad).

yes EA all the way after that. was checkout point station master with TD. all 13 OGs in the area just checked out within 15 min of each other, like ultimate gangbang. there was a queue in TPY Mos burger but not at the counter lol. for a moment i thought i would be murdered cos it turns out TPY checkpoints were screwed. ah well.

TD was quite good company haha. chatted about quite alot of stuff with her even though i didnt really know her before that day. and i tink i totally ruined her diet plan (if she had one). haha. cos i decided to be a pig and get old chang kee to eat. so she decided to get stuff too since she "hadn't eaten for quite a long time". haha. then took bus to bukit timah to go botanics and we passed by serene center so i randomly said i wanted to get dessert at island creamery. then she said ok. haha! but walk so long to botanics, everything just burns itself off. haha.

had debrief and feedback at botanics. apparently some dog shit behind the place we were sitting so the whole place was stinking while we did feedback. like wth. then walked like 15 min to bus stop with simon kenneth bert minzhe and martin. then minzhe cleverly suggested "eh lets walk man". so i walked with him. like wtf. another 25 min beforw we reached orchard LOL. but minzhe is omg damn funny. he has officially become the latest funniest person i know. hahaha. talk to him seriously can laugh like shit.

2nd day was more or less the same. dance then lunch (bad lunch again), then station games and dance again. ended abit earlier. haha. games quite ok la i guess. then today last day. errr, song and dance then war games. lunch was the worst today. omg. dont ever order food from that vendor again pls thx. lolol.

anw war games was more or less wat we played this year. so it was rather boring. and the weather like didnt help at all. strip me if u can was as violent as ever. like omg run everywhere change direction then kena raped. totally siao end up i kena scratched by the girls. -.- haha then sprained finger during tower rush whacking ppl. win.

ok the mood just feel there on by tower rush everyone like semi went on strike alr. :/ hope they can change the games to make them more fun next time out.

wonder wat time i'll wake up tmr after lakcing slp for the past 3 nights. zzz..

number 67

2008-11-26T22:55:00.003+08:00

this past week has been damn fun! catching up with 10jie ppl and all. ah well. outing soon!

anw went to sch today to confirm H3 application. i tink its quite dumb that emails aren't sent to inform you if ur application is rejected. :/ its not like, we cant take rejection. right? hmm..

ok watever. no double meaning intended. anyway i met hsien in sch (he was running when i saw him. -surprise surprise-). LOL haha. ok turns out he owed ms lio something he was supposed to hand in like at the start of the year. win. luckily its not homework. haha.

then erm met him again after i was done with my confirmation. ended up chatting with him for like 2 and a half hours. wah like super long nvr catch up with sec 2 classmates liao. haha. some of the things i heard quite shocking sia. heh heh.

orientation dry run tmr. besides the fact that i have to wake up mother early in the morning (its hols man! i want to SLEEP), i hope it'll be fun. haha.

AND I JUST CLEARED MY INBOX OF 137 UNREAD EMAIL. explains my inefficiency man. zzzzzzzz... but ok i am happy i currently have no unread email LOL!

and i am just some half glass empty sai4. hope 2 weeks can just pass quickly man!!!

red tape...........

2008-11-19T21:38:00.002+08:00

finally dragged my ass back here to blog. ah well. things have been happening, and the biggest thing has been procrastination. zzz..

planning a countdown can be a real pain in the ass. especially when, well, everyone is so busy and all. zzz.. and the bloody red tape. i was swimming in a pool of red tape the previous week then decided to stop and find a new way altogether. somehow i feel there needs to be a re-think about asking ppl to organize an activity without having some form of control over wat to do.

H3 econs has been, well, H3 econs. which is, the intro lecture(s) (i only attended 1) didnt talk about the syllabus. ok maybe cos i missed the first lecture. but the teacher quite interesting. and no i nvr knew the berlin wall fell cos of the long run equilibirum of a perfectly competitive market. ><

speaking of sch, havent touched any holiday assignment. lololol. red alert 3 and fifa 09 seem like much better things to do. and the weather has severely threatened my holiday exercise regime. i guess i'm just 2 weeks behind schedule. LOLOLOLOL. but today played bball with zhengjun at CC. like wake up eat breakfast then play liao. hoho. i am so sporty -.-

ok this post is going nowhere. EA internal dry run tmr. gotta cut more red tape now. BYEE.

holsss

2008-11-07T17:03:00.002+08:00

PW was finally over ytd when we submitted our I&R. lol. had quite alot of fun doing it, though i didnt really appreciate the late nights. haha.

OP was ok i guess, save for Q&A which was quite a major screw up on my part. but anw have to thank tew joy and hongye for their help or i believed i would have died for my own presentation as well. been superb working with u girls!

finally got to stay home today. the weather is damn hot now, after an afternoon shower. -.- and i dont see how certain ppl can push work to others to do while he just, well, gets ppl to do things. lol. i mean, its quite amusing when the head passes a mail with 2 documents and says instructions for watever. and expects other ppl to do it! i mean, he didnt even ask ppl to do it, just expects them to. like totally wow.

good luck to him in society.

wedding and trannies

2008-11-02T23:15:00.002+08:00

cousin's wedding ytd! got dragged to msia early in the morning. unfortunately besides CNY it's these kind of occasions when one big family can gather together. so the most impt thing is enjoying ourselves. had a good time catching up with everyone.

what the cousin-in-law to be did to jie1 my cousin was like, damn funny. no actually its not really funny if ur doing it. lol. we can only hope we dont need to do such hardcore stuff in future. haha.

then played 5 hours of mahjong with bro and cousins and lost over 5 bucks in the process. rmbr not to bet with pros. and let ur uncle play a few rounds to recoup some losses. hahaha. ur uncle is always the most pro, no matter how good ur cousins are. hahaha.

wedding dinner was, well, quite eventful. food was not bad. performances were really bad. i mean, its not really a good idea to get trannies to perform at a wedding dinner is it? and there are kids around some more. then the trannies come off stage to, well, sexually harrass ppl tinking other ppl enjoy it. luckily i not that lucky, my goodness.

ok i'm not gonna start a hate club against unique individuals or sth, but hey, is there a need to be so outrageous? theres a fine line between entertainment and uneasiness. and its really bad for kids. the kids dont even know they're not real women, and then u go on stage telling the audience about the "kinabalu" u have for ur boobs. yah i'm sure i'm interested in the name of ur boobs. pls la. oh and the "hotdog and 2 fishballs" between ur legs? hear liao no appetite alr.

they shld just, perform for an adult audience. now can someone tell me why ppl dont want to stick with how they were made to be?

status quo

2008-10-26T23:50:00.002+08:00

somehow, i still cant bring myself to ask that question. to give myself a final answer.

some part of me is fine with how things are. another part just wants to move on.

maybe i need some alcohol to zhuang4 dan3. LOL.

epilogue

2008-10-23T23:04:00.003+08:00

3 more days of school. then after that its full steam ahead for OP and we'll be free for the year. i'm burning out. can feel it. but there's still stuff to do. and it doesnt help when one person can knock u off ur drive to do things well. but no i'm not someone who enjoys screwing up things for others. tmd i cant wait for next year april to come when i can finally not have anything to do with ppl whose heads i feel like kicking off.

assholes aside, ocomm meetings have been rather pleasant. quite fun really. haha. i'm partly looking forward to dry run. but looking at the weather these days, dont wanna bet how dry it'll be. but have i said i really like the weather? lol sorry i've always been someone who prefers the cold to heat. i'll be the last person u see complaining of cold. no its really comfortable when chilling wind blows in ur face. soothes nerves. clears ur mind. i tink i'm in need of that.

i see different ppl encountering different probs. certain things i cant understand. nvr will. everyone has different psychological make-ups. for me, i tink i stopped feeling nervous about certain things a long time ago. i've maintained that self-assured air of confidence for so long, i duno how i've been sustaining it. seriously. then reality conveniently came along and gave me a slap. "wake up ur fucking idea." i tink that's the self reflection i've been going through the period of this whole month.

it's funny. but sometimes it really seems wat drives us is that fear of shame. when we finish last, we always say "so embarrassing" instead of sth like "so disappointing" or anything else along that line. well that explains why all the so called insults like "loser" or "noob" serves to humiliate, not to dishearten. theres a difference. there are ppl who get humiliated and then strive to stuff ppl's words back down their throats. they're galvanized, not disheartened. then there are ppl who dont even care.

i guess one day we're gonna have to ask ourselves wats our driving force. our motivation. if its not to be humiliated then so be it.

and then for me its to prove doubters wrong. the more ppl doubt me, the more i wanna prove they're wrong.

and then now, the biggest sceptic of my own ability is myself.

wat irony.

vindicated

2008-10-20T22:08:00.003+08:00

results announced today. i tink the sch is trying to raise our tolerance of nervousness and anxiety, wat with giving us all our papers and results back in one period. like lol first time in my life getting everything back at one go.

glad that the whole class is safe. cos i noe of some ppl who arent. ah well. got one hell of a surprise, and then the rest fo the way was just relief. considering how epicly i screwed up, i'm really satisfied with my results i guess. plus i improved across the boars save for maths. ah well. at least thats one thing off my chest, i can really put my mind into other things now.

and then theres next year to look forward to. haha. i'm pretty sure everyone will build on watever they have now to do better, so jiayou everyone!

indoor basketball was quite cool. the sound of the ball bouncing on hardwood just sounds better than the sound of basketball bouncing n concrete. and theres no wind. haha.

and its really interesting to see jiahui and zhengjun debate over sensitive issues. lol!

delusion

2008-10-19T23:12:00.002+08:00

i finally understand why i like to play games so much.

its my form of escapism. where i can retreat into my own fantasy of power and success. where i wont fail. where i dont need to tink. where i'm not judged by tangible results. where if there are results they wont be printed on a certificate.

other ppl call it delusion. i call it utopia.

patience has a limit

2008-10-14T22:10:00.002+08:00

i duno how long i'll be able to stand u without blowing up right in ur face.

being someone who doesnt usually mince his words, i must say i'm quite amazed i havent destroyed our working relationship yet.

the way u treat people is bloody ridiculous.

we dont need u to teach us how to send an email, and dont bloody say we're insincere.

fucking hyprocrite. screw off.

stuff of champions

2008-10-07T22:19:00.004+08:00

for hilarity's sake, i shall post screenshots taken from my FM game a while back. (as mentioned 2 posts ago)

if u still dont know wats so funny about the last pic, come and talk to me. (hint: see red) and i manage newcastle by the way. which is no shambles, thats a game not real life.

but still, what fond memories.

welcome to the stone age

2008-10-06T23:26:00.002+08:00

lol i tink my eye white can be reclassified as wat, eye red. my eyes are red yet not sore. look like some dumb rabbit.

sch is the total bore. wake up yawn all the way to sch. zhengjun came on train at marsiling while i was semi awake. he sit beside me, i went into full time sleeping. wake up he ask me why i so sleepy. -.- spent quite some time discussing OP. hahaha. the grp almost went mad. believe me when i say that some of the ideas we came up with were quite mad. hahaha.

econs lecture. total bore. we got possibly the most boring lecturer since the days of elasticity lecture. and i thought that was the worst. yawn more and slp. zzzz...

even this post is boring. i'm yawning as i'm typing this. ok bye back to OP slides.

kingdom of laziness

2008-10-05T22:58:00.002+08:00

hi world i'm not dead. like totally.

ok finally felt like posting sth here. or rather, finally could be bothered to.

so promos are over. and i, screwed up. yeah that basically summarizes my promo journey. actually the only paper i REALLY screwed up for was chem. since i really wanted to do well in that. ah well. shant revisit the painful past. i got over it in 5 min. hopefully i'll be able to get over my results in a shorter time.

completed another season of FM. no more hilarious things can happen. i'll post pics of it another time then u'll understand..

class chalet. lol. now i know wat girls do during their chalet. watch 偶像剧。if u watch until u puke it becomes 呕像剧。ok totally not funny. but chionging liu2 xing1 hua1 yuan2 thru one night isnt really healthy. especially when the girls refuse to give the guys a bedroom, and we're forced to slp in the living room thru the night with the tv blasting. i mean, only nat could slp thru that, for obvious reasons. and i really tink victor has a brilliant mind aka improvised chess board. lmao. ah well. failed to havoc. ended up playing dumb pool. and spilling sparkling juice all over the corridor. wonders of having 5 guys in a class. (note: zhengjun didnt go, sengchian took his place. so we still had 5 guys.)

slacked off the rest of the week. ccal conference was really really interesting. and quite inspiring. and 100% thought provoking. if even i start tinking about things i nvr thought about before, it just shows sth doesnt it? and yes i do have a brain, contrary to popular belief. -.-

had major chatting sessions. with victor after dinner on thur. until a certain somebody asked if we were gay. HAHA. pls i dont want to be murdered by another someone! -coughs ohsuchin coughs- ok. met up with mincong and jiamin on fri. omg duno how long nvr been to baoguan alr. almost 2 months. haha. stone in xiaoroom and talk cock for close to 5 hours i tink? really miss the ppl there. 30th november!!

sch starts tmr. unfortunately. and tmr happens to be the most epic time waster of a day. pls lar. go sch at 7.30. first block free. 2nd block take survey. then free until wat. 11++ got one period econs. then off for the day. like. WOW. ok at least got PW meeting to look forward to. yay OP! (LOL there u go tew. hahaha!)

and then i realised, its no longer about wat i can do. but wat i should. or is it the other way round?

promotion!

2008-09-21T22:12:00.000+08:00

ok everything starts tmr so i'll be on a mini 4 day hiatus.

all the best ppl!

iron... man

2008-09-20T22:50:00.003+08:00

heres the mother of all ironies:

3 months ago in june, i was complaining that theres not enough bloody time for me to prepare for CTs.

3 months later now, i tink i'm losing focus at the most crucial moment. gg.

nvm i shall just kid myself with my overinflated confidence and be brought back down to earth in a few weeks time. its not as if i've not gone through that before.

oh and did i tell u that ur my greatest motivation?

freaking hot weather

2008-09-19T22:53:00.002+08:00

the weather is SO NOT conducive for studying.

like wth am i glad that exams are conducted in the hall with air con blasting. like seriously i dont understand why ppl would complain that its cold when they can complain that its hot.

hot weather totally pisses me off. no i tink thats a severe understatement. and then theres the humidity. if only i had a really really thirsty hippo at home. -.-

ARGH ok lets hope tmr will be a cooler day. a cooler day will be a better day. today, was just plain screwed up.

dee why dee axe

2008-09-18T00:03:00.002+08:00

i thought i was getting hopeless at math.

but then it just seems like, the more frustrated u get, the more u cant tink.

i hate losing my cool. and lately it seems like sth that happens very easily.

so its finally getting to me i guess. one week. it'll be over in exactly a week.

must survive. cant lose steam now. ah well.

1 week. 7 days. 168 hours. 10080 mins. 604800 seconds.

2008-09-15T22:33:00.004+08:00

one more week lol i guess i'm ok with my progress. and my progress is ok. so i shld feel ok. lololol.

and to mr. hsiang chengwen: i've deleted all ur retarded tags cos they dont look good and one of them is extremely obscene. stop spamming my tagboard or i'll quit EA. yes i'm threatening u. HAHA. no wait i'm not even sure my grades can make it. -.-

one more day and its study break. pray i dont need to go back to sch during study break zzz bye.

beginning of the beginning

2008-09-07T23:08:00.002+08:00

URGH sch starts tmr. i dont wanna go back omg. (but its got more to do with sleep. i love sleep.)

ok becoming more productive i hope i can get some real stuff done. and i was looking back at my chem CT1 and i still tink its the single most screwed up i've done for any paper. so i ended up getting 2 grades below wat i know i could have gotten and its just REGRET. somehow i feel it'll come back to haunt me at the end of the year.

2 more weeks. time is running out. 2 main issues to iron out:

1. stop being so careless
2. time management

these 2 double-handedly (if they had hands) kill me. murderers. but then its me murdering myself so wat can i say?

oh and muquan has to stop being so vulgar. from now onwards. immediately. LOLLLL.

something to prove?

2008-09-05T23:20:00.003+08:00

17 days. in just over half an hour it'll be 16.

i am (strangely or not), not stressed. lol wait i dont tink i've been stressed before exams before. but trust me i get REAL stressed on exam day itself so its not like thats very helpful. haha. ok at least i'm feeling the urgency. so i promised to do much better for promos. by completing my papers. from the looks of it these 2 weeks will have to be intense if i wanna achieve my goal of.. completing my papers. no more kissing 10 marks goodbye in each paper due to bad time management and poor mindset. i mean, i noe i'm a generous guy.. but there's got to be a limit rite? LOLLL.

and complacency is seriously a scary thing. damn i hope i'm nvr complacent again. and that i'll be stressed come the same time next year. hoho.

went sch ytd and the day before ytd. which is wed and thur la. turns out the whole world was mugging there i thought i was late for a normal sch day. lol ok la i've learnt alot of lessons this year, and the most impt one being i study best alone in solitude. so no sch for me. (i mean, 2 hours walking transport and waiting time, i can finish one econs case study and more?)

and finally almost done with PW. i count my PW grpmates among the best things that have happened for me this year cos seriously i couldnt have asked for better grpmates! so thx tew hongye and joy! yah and joy for lending us her house on 3 different occasions. wooot.

yeah and been talking to bro quite alot lately. i suspect its due to his timetable which reminds me of DMP in RI. so i was saying i trying to prac econs under exam conditions, then he said u can nvr do that since u can nvr replicate the stress conditions of an exam, and likened that to practising as many penalty kicks as u want but u nvr feel the stress until u actually take a real one. but that doesnt mean u dont practise penalty kicks. ok thats not the point. the point is he said sth about England not being able to win PKs cos of the historical baggage. does that mean, after 10 years of formal education, and 10 years of making stupid dumb careless mistakes, that i'll nvr be able to stop making careless mistakes? sian..

and i wish my mailbox will stop getting spammed with (no not facebook) emails which i dont really have the mood to read and which i dont really wanna care about at this present time. and i thought i made myself clear i dont want to bother myself with these until after promos when i can actually focus all my attention into it. like i will anw. -.-

ok end of crapping. jiayou everyone! after promos we have OP! LOLLL.

and justina zhuang pls take care of ur fractured wrist. painful injury that :/ but cast can use to whack ppl though (i presume u have one on. hoho)

and 1 month on. just grateful everything's just like before.

and nothing i said has changed. (:

past and present.

2008-09-01T22:37:00.002+08:00

struck me recently that my memories of my childhood are really poor/non-existent.

like randomly meeting ur pri 1 classmate and have her recognize u but u dont have any impression of her at all.

like ur pri 1 classmate adding u on friendster and u dont rmbr her at all.

then i tink like 2 weeks ago, tew suddenly asked me, "eh, so and so ur kindergarten schoolmate ah?"

then i'm like, eating and almost choked. LOL. kindergarten schoolmate, seriously i have no impression. oh and for the record, that guy was in the same secondary school as me for 4 years.

then tew said, "lol next time show u photo." win.

i guess i've not looked back at photographs from the past in eons. not sentimental? lol. dont like to tink that way, cos i tink i'm seriously quite sad if i'm like that.

but it seriously amazes me how good ppl's memories can be. haha. maybe its just me..

so i browse facebook photos (after studying for a day mind you i dont have so much time), yah and some faces look distinctly familiar. haha.

but i'm pretty sure 20 years on from now, i wont forget the present. too important to me.

but hey if u recognize me from 10 years ago, feel free to approach me. it'll be a pleasant surprise haha.

confessions

2008-08-29T22:25:00.003+08:00

hmm this place is unofficially dead. haha. wonder if ppl still bother to come here. now that i've got time and mood shall update update abit. muahahaha.

so term 3 is over. i rmbr one teacher said term 3 is just going to pass very fast. turns out to have been quite an understatement. term 3 just passed us by. its like a while ago we were taking our CTs, now a while later we'll be taking our promos.

so if term 3 was over in a flash, term 4 is going to be even more rushed i guess. which is quite a scary thought. i mean, 1 week hols, then 2 weeks and promos start. after promos prepare for OP, start holidaying, do OP and say byebye to PW and hello to real holidays. which is, no holidays for me? provided i do well for promos and be more serious in class la..

this term has been quite a bomb, wat with CTs, tiyuri, infrequent countdown meetings, handover, sudden need to do tutorials due to change in tutors, SPA, failing to do tutorials, saying something i've felt like saying for a long time, catching up with undone tutorials, OLYMPICS, and of cos chionging the most popular subject in the world aka project work which u can deduce from the name isnt actually a subject.

somehow managed to sleep the least in the term during last week of term. monday PE played soccer in mud. so the rj pitch is really as bad as ppl say it is. there're alot of holes to collect water. how nice. haha. basically everyone was slipping. and getting muddy. at least i managed to get on the scoresheet. ah well. spent the rest of the week studying for and screwing up lecture tests (chem was ultimate screw, lmao). then chiong WR draft 3, culminating in 2am this morning.

so now i am very sleepy and got a damn bad headache. zzz.. teachers' day celebrations were.... rather lame. went back ri to see ms cho and ms low cos the rest of the teachers had left for teachers' day lunch. ate lunch with a bunch of 4H peeps then went to watch wall.e with sikai tze kang and yijun. didnt disappoint. quite interesting how robots seem to have hearts in the movies. hmmm.. quite a good watch i guess.

oh and i enjoyed my last hours with FM for the last 2 days. cos no more from tmr onwards. i got no more excuses so i'm damn determined not to screw up this time. ah well.

just so drained these days. luckily its the hols. but one week nia, sian.

and i really hope ur fine. (:

jiayou everyone!

答案

2008-08-25T23:14:00.002+08:00

人，有时会想，自己到底需要做些什么。

原来找不到答案的感觉就是如此。不知是盲目还是麻木。

还是，给自己太少时间了？

olympics!

2008-08-10T22:57:00.007+08:00

yeah olympics very exciting! like whoooo watch randoms sports everyday. haha. ok so far i have watched:

weightlifting
gym
handball
bball
soccer
archery
fencing
swimming
diving
hockey

did i leave anything out? lol. yeah its just spend time watching olympics then neglect work haha but who cares olympics much better. hahaha.

watched spain trash greece in bball. the world champs are really damn zai. they play damn good defence and their guards can really shoot lol. but well lebron guaranteed gold for USA so.. haha. shall see wat happens when they match up against each other.

argentina vs australia. quite frustrating to watch cos the aussies just camp up in their own half and deny the argentines any space. then when the aussies attack they waste all their chances. like totally wth. but argentina's goal was damn good!

yeah and michael phelps also damn pro. one body length ahead of the world record pace. imba shit. ><

ok anw now that i'm at it:

introducing ricky rubio. spanish point guard. who is only 17 going on 18 this year. wth man. while other ppl his age are preparing for their prelims and A's, hes playing in the olympics! oh and he totally owned the world U-16 championships when he was 15. like totally godlike go check out his wiki. hes one for the future man!

ok now waiting for USA vs China. not checking out the score, wanna watch later at 12am. hahaha. byebye!

happy 43!

2008-08-09T23:06:00.003+08:00

happy birthday Singapore! or wats left of it anyway, since theres just under an hour left. its nvr too late i guess. i still rmbr who was the last one who msg-ed me on my own birthday this year and it happened to be the most appreciated msg haha.

watched bits of NDP on tv, alternating between com and tv. fireworks were damn good this year. yah for once i appreciated fireworks. haha.

national day celebs in rj were damn HIGH. yeah ok it was funn. mr. vadi (aka mr. mumbai on M1 commercial aka the guy who acts in celafare) is damn funny lol! yeah well stage wasted though. but i tink there probably wouldnt have been any diff between the gallery and the hall. gallery warmer some more. haha. yah so glad i made the right choice and stayed muahaha.

"class" bbq ytd. lol yeah it was damn successful cos only 10 ppl turned up in the end. -.-ok so it was some sad case. received sms in the morning. nat KO, so i got put in charge of buying stuff. LOL gg xx. ok la he was really.. dying. yeah croaking (thats wat he said) like a frog when i called him so lmao. anw hope ur ok alr we want our drinks HAHA.

yeah so met with sengchian hongye and viet to buy stuff. halfway thru tew sms-ed. "eh its raining!" LOL having bought half our stuff i called her. she was at changi. we were at bedok. so i thought gg alr lmao. then rain got heavier some more. -.- yeah and we so happened to see dark clouds in the sky.

well being the risk-takers that we are we bought food anw, and went. luckily it didnt rain. lol. so bbq-ed proceeded. cycled and bbq-ed. then at 9pm we felt raindrops and zao-ed. played pool with viet victor and sengchian. played 10000 times better than last time i guess. haha. anw had quite a fun time ytd thx to yiusum jiahui tew weiting sengchian hongye viet victor and suchin for coming down and more thanks to weiting and her parents for the lift to cck mrt. heh heh. or else i would have reached home at 1am. LOLLL.

and well things have happened to ppl recently. guess i'm just.. shocked. didnt really know how to respond.. it probably just showed, once again, how fragile life really is. cant help much, but to offer my deepest condolences. ah well. guess thats why they always say we must be honest with our feelings cos we might not have a chance to say it? sigh sigh..

so now i'm just counting down to the end of my playing days. next tue, thats the day i set for myself to start preparing seriously for promos. no more excuses this time. jiayou everyone!

youyouyou

2008-08-02T18:08:00.001+08:00

and i miss..

you

WHY SO SERIOUS

2008-08-02T18:03:00.004+08:00

wth the weather is like damn hot. omg man cant stand it! zzzzz..

scholarship day was.. quite random i guess. lol. havent set any targets for myself so just go there see see. in the end it turned out to be freebies free for all with julian and yijun, and chengwen joining us halfway. its quite embarrassing really. hahaha. but erm, had a good laugh la. lmao.

freaking tired now. and got WR to rush. like wow. died-ed. going for national day dinner at boon lay later. ://

watched dark knight (like finally) on wed with yijun. the movie is damn good. though joker is seriously quite disturbing. heath ledger is like damn zai, though unfortunately he wont be with them to shoot another sequel. ah well. wat a waste.

totally looking forward to the break next week man. ah well. byebye!

handicap

2008-07-29T21:56:00.002+08:00

lol i totally need a wheelchair cos the muscle aches are unbearable. and they make me tire out easily. haha.

and my back is like omg acting up again.

and i have pe tmr. die -.-

at least i can finally take some extended break after sch. wooot.

painn omgg

2008-07-28T20:37:00.002+08:00

lol so the expected soreness set in today. reached sch and immediately wanted to go home. like totally zzzz.. got trouble climbing stairs. -.- heck i even have trouble trying to qiao4 my jiao3. lol. luckily sch got lift. which is i only took the lift once today? and to the second floor.. wth.

lol anw tiyuri was damn fun! last min kai1 qiao4 noe how to throw frisbee. like lmao. frisbee and handball quite fun i decided. though dont throw ball into ppl's face. -.- yah and watch out for the street soccer goalposts cos the crossbar is like, low? LOL. knocked into it and had headache for the rest of the day like ouch thought i had concussion. anw cramped 3 times ytd. VERY bad cramps whr u cant walk alr. then i decided to play bball and erm, couldnt catch up with kaiqi on the court. HAHAHA. yah by the end of the day i was seriously tinking getting out of AHS was going to be real difficult. ah well. dinner was good.

xianglong champs. new champs at last. haha. congrats and well done. =) xulong got 4th. would have been a good result but unfortunately we only have 4 teams. but nvm we tried out best. xulong still rocks. =DDD

lol ok my mind still isnt working properly. wonder how many brain cells i killed ytd. LOL.

wtffffffffffffffff^1000

2008-07-23T23:03:00.002+08:00

today i almost bloody lost it. no i tink it started from ytd during the meeting i almost wanted to swear out loud and throw ppl out of the room.

but figures it doesnt help me or the club. but i'm just getting damn sick of listening to ideals being preached to me. sorry i'm effectively more of a pragmatist and i really dont care about wat u intend to do. cos i wanna bloody see u do it and ur not doing any shit god damn it.

frankly i dont like to take shit, especially when its served up on a platter and given to me like halfway thru a 10 course meal. sth i didnt order but i gotta eat. fuck it la seriously. u have to wonder how come some ppl's skins are as thick as their asses sometimes to be able to ask ppl to be slaves for them.

at least after this i'm doing sth i'm taking charge of. i'm making sure none of this shit happens to the main event. so u can screw off. byebye.

locked-out

2008-07-20T22:55:00.004+08:00

sorry if i havent been uploading regularly. i noe it sucks to come to a blog to see the same posts over and over again. ah well. just havent had the mood to blog. i guess there actually is stuff to talk about, but sometimes a public domain isnt the best place to do it. if u wanna hear stories just come and talk to me. hahaha.

had last meeting before tiyuri today. after tiyuri there'll be one more meeting before we break until end of year and resume for next year's camp. so thats it then, one year's gone just like that. and i'm officially in semi-retirement state. as victor always says: “欢乐的时光总是过得很快的” how apt it is then that this year's really just passing by without me really noticing. its really not an understatement when i say that, last year's tiyuri, the setting up of last year's camp comm, its all just like, yesterday. time spares no one, sigh sigh.

and i guess a part of me just wants to hark back to last year. to the past. maybe then i can spend more time with everyone, with.. and learn how to treasure more i guess. really glad that ppl in 10 jie still keep in touch with one another. miss all of u guys. and i still want my outing! hahaha!

and i actually forgot to bring my keys out today. and only realised when i got to my doorstep. lol. no keys. sucks to be me. i mean, the last time i forgot to bring keys out was in pri sch. wth man. shld go slap myself or sth. -.- ok not really worth it.

so i went to the CC. wat else? do work. luckily i brought work out to do. or else i could have just stoned to death. so yeah, did work, realised u dont go to the CC just to play bball. haha. and realised i can be real efficient if i want to be. screw it. its like time to stop tinking about wat i can achieve, and actually get down to doing it. damn it. zzz.. but watching ppl play bball was quite nice though. haha. random.

ah well. gotta prepare for week 5. after this week its half the term gone. like wow. just like that. poooof!

i'm back

2008-07-14T22:32:00.002+08:00

lol ok so i realised my posting sort of stagnated lately. totally no mood to blog. or rather, no mood to do anything constructive.

and so it is a good thing that i've shaken that dumb mood off. haha. been spending these past week tinking about wat i actually wanna achieve this year. or rather, wat is left of this year. i really cant afford to lose steam again. i need to get the start of year feeling back. zzz..

oteam interview tmr. duno wat to expect. not really concerned. hahaha. i guess its not really impt anymore. if i get in i get to burn my hols. if i dont i get to enjoy my hols. either way its a win win situation for me. LOL. thats not saying i dont feel like getting in la. but if they decide i'm work no shit wat can i do right?

and then theres PW. woooot man this term is going to be a short and busy one.

THE rubbishdump

399

i'll be back... soon

once bitten twice shy

trying very hard

lol

开冷气

意义

虚

says you

witness greatness

收藏

dedicated

hold on

trash heap

-

maybe maybe

struggling

i'm ewwww

gg xx

CHOP

more than words can say

get lost.

120%

因为，所以

-yawn-

why?

one week holiday

lolmao

convicted

today...

困

crossroads

sCOWl-ing

我，不知道

SLEEEEEEP

another week GONE

urgh

ZBZBZB

HELLO

!

-YAWN-

茫然

otiero 2009!

ORIEEENTATION

freaking sian

#2

#1

MAN-day

i hate numbers

open house

busy not busy

ohh lala

a story

changeee

说不出的感受 多了一点感动

false alarm

countdown over!

开

oh the month (year) is ending already?

haiz haiz haiz HAIZ

stop the bleeding

confessions

TIRED

lets be honest..

why?

boring

4 months and counting

orientation dry run

number 67

red tape...........

holsss

wedding and trannies

status quo

epilogue

vindicated

delusion

patience has a limit

stuff of champions

welcome to the stone age

说不出的感受多了一点感动