Thursday, December 25, 2008
如果，

每个人都能放开，看开，想得开

那么，

这个世界，

应该就不会那么乱吧。。。



the cynic spoke @ 12:42 AM

Monday, December 22, 2008
i just realised:

3 days to christmas.
9 days to countdown.
no time already.

ok subconsciously i know la. but wth. no christmas mood at all. correction. no mood at all. haha. ok la i've nvr been a christmas person. i'm more of a CNY person. CNY rocks!

LOL watever. thats, just ONE month away. zomg.

ok jiayou for countdown! let's err, make it something nice. HAHA xD



the cynic spoke @ 10:16 PM

Sunday, December 21, 2008
not been feeling it these days. not sleeping well. how do u sleep well when u have some form of insomnia and when u finally fall asleep after 2 hours u have weird dreams and dont sleep well?

i duno wat worse things there can be in this world than being tired but not being able to fall asleep. the feeling SUCKS. wait. i've felt worse lately.

so other than being tired i've been really distracted lately. so maybe i've been tinking too much. but then again the signs havent really been good either. but then theres only myself to blame isnt there?

then Singapore goes and gets itself knocked out of AFF Suzuki Cup. after 1001 goalscoring opportunities. sigh. sometimes, luck just isnt on ur side. or rather, u didnt capitalise when u had the chance. ah well.

minister's briefing tmr. hope i'm focused enough.



the cynic spoke @ 11:12 PM

Friday, December 19, 2008
thanks :)



the cynic spoke @ 11:57 AM

Thursday, December 18, 2008
had a nightmare ytd night. actually i have no idea wat was going on but i can vividly rmbr myself trying to grab onto sth. (as in i was really struggling to grab onto sth). so in real life i was snatching at air. then i woke up feeling like shit. wth..

to be relenting or relentless?

i tink i'm slowly figuring out the answer..



the cynic spoke @ 11:44 PM

Tuesday, December 16, 2008
sometimes, we just have that uncanny ability to sense wat is going on, and wat is coming next. or maybe that question has been popped so many times it didnt make sense for it not to be asked, especially in that context.

it was a question which i nvr felt i needed to let the whole world know about the answer. and i was perfectly sober when i answered that question. so i lied to myself to give the answer which needed to come out of my mouth. nvr felt more tortured telling a lie. lying to u. lying to me. maybe u had it figured out, or maybe u were satisfied with the answer.

when one became two, theres wasnt a need for deception. that would have been too blatant. no, you knew there was only ever going to be one answer to the second. and yes, i was sober.

so i killed a part of me yesterday, and revived another. somehow or rather i'm beginning to be more interested in wat u tink. is that it? really the end of it just like that? am i in for nothing if i persist? and then again, where was my persistence to start with.

ultimately, i dont know if i'll ever know how u tink. cos all along u've known mine and the ball has always been in ur court. but i'm pretty sure u'll read this, and know this is meant for u. i've nvr asked for much. if its really the end, then i just want to hark back to the past. re-discover that comfort zone we once had. when we were less like strangers (too strong a word to use).

cos i duno whether its you, or just me. cos some things are not just meant to be gotten over within days, within weeks, within months.

与其说是为了保护我自己
倒不如说
我的谎言，是为了保护你



the cynic spoke @ 10:38 PM

Sunday, December 14, 2008
"confucius say, man who run in front of car get tired. man who run behind car get exhausted"
-first heard from nathanael foong, duno whr he hear from one.

LOL. honestly speaking, i can actually see a tinge of humour in that line, but then it doesnt seem funny now. haha. (wth why i "haha" after sth funny). watever.

ok i'm like really burnt out now, hols are supposed to be the time u recharge but right now i feel so bloody tired. for me theres only 2 ways i get tired:
1. lack of sleep.
2. doing sth i detest

considering i am clocking reasonable amount of sleep, the reason why i am tired shld be no. 2. (wonders). aiya, its seriously not that bad, but u know, the ppl u work with matter, and one guy can spoil everything.

but i'm trying not to let one person affect my mood so much. just been more vulgar these days. i mean, wat can i do when i end every phone call with sth not very nice to hear when a certain someone calls. LOL.

ok i realised this has been a load of crap. and wat i thought..

wat i thought isnt important anymore. wat matters is, its wrong.

and i rally hope i can get out of this funk soon, cos i desperately need to hit the ground next year sprinting. read: not running. SPRINTING.



the cynic spoke @ 11:59 PM

Friday, December 12, 2008
omg i wish my mailbox can stop getting spammed. i go out for 7 hours and receive 28 new emails none of which i have to read. and they're not really spam! :/

maybe shld just create a new email address altogether just for work. like wth. i'll have mailbox-phobia after the new year has passed.

and having convos about countdown and orientation while trying to play PES at the same time can be quite hardcore. especially when one of them is a mass convo. ><

ok i'm not pissed like really. to whoever tinks i'm pissed off with them: I AM NOT PISSED. no i am only really pissed with one person and i dont tink you read this anyway. HAHA.



the cynic spoke @ 11:19 PM

Thursday, December 11, 2008
thats for me to answer.

maybe, i started having doubts about it myself too.



the cynic spoke @ 11:41 PM

Wednesday, December 10, 2008
and this template is getting as boring as my life.

i need a new blogskin!



the cynic spoke @ 12:22 AM

i have a policy of not spending too long to solve a problem. like any problem.

so that makes you the most difficult puzzle i've had to solve in my entire life. cos i've worked for 4 months and i still havent got an answer.

just a random thought: am i supposed to know wat to say to you?

oh it also makes for the most patient wait by me. like ever.



the cynic spoke @ 12:17 AM