乱
nth much to update about.
after CTs has been hardcore slacking and gaming. reinstalled diablo II to play. chionged act 1 in one day. lmao. bro came back extremely shocked. hahaha.
went meeting on sunday. jiayou to sports comm. tink some of the initiatives r great. haha. had a great time chatting. =)
today. sch. lol. spastic fun. bball after sch. finally got some burn. though my touch like all gone or sth. lol.
enjoying the feeling of having no work. just let me enjoy for this week.
short post. incoherent. cos i really duno wat i'm tinking now.
overrr
haha so CTs are over. mixed feelings i guess. the only paper i felt i really let myself down for was chem, though i know i could have done better for math. ah well, its over so i shall just not care about it. next time i'll make sure i start early enough so i cant use lack of preparation as an excuse.
stoned around after sch today. felt quite.. stoned out i guess. damn sian. lol. this whole week has been after paper go j8 grab some stuff to eat with yiusum jiahui victor and suchin, then go home and continue mugging. so today after the paper like.. nth to do. haha.
ate with victor and liyuan (cat high one), had quite a long talk la. haha. then followed nat go orchard before meeting up with oh suchin and her fren. strolled around orchard then go PS. zzz..
ok i'm just totally tired out now. cant tink liao. shall go slp early. especially when i still got to go back to sch early in the morning tmr for meeting like *&^*%$#^)*I! one day after CTs HAIZ...
BYE
all the best
somehow i tink i've lost alot of my drive and motivation. things i had in loads at the start of the year. haiz. promised myself this shall not be the case for promos. i intend to see that through.
good thing i've not lost my confidence though. its probably wats keeping me afloat.
ah well. all the best to everyone for their blocks/CTs/mid-years/terms then! good luck! (:
O+
anyone with O+ blood type or know of anyone else with O+ blood type please contact me IMMEDIATELY, a life as at stake.
thanks!
overdrive
i guess the only way to break out of this funk is to actually just ride through it. which is exactly wat i'm doing now. numbing myself with work no longer seems to be as effective, so now i just numb myself completely. lolol. though i really tink i could do with better quality of sleep. it sucks having to wake up 3-4 times in the middle of the night.. lol xiping u got any other tips? hahahaha.
time is running out too. the worst thing to have a race against is time. cos 200% of the time u'll lose. not that i wanted this race. oh wells. guess wat i can do now is to prepare myself as best as i can and go do my best. most impt thing is confidence. sth i nvr lack. in fact i tink i have too much of it. bad. someone make me demoralised pls. hahaha.
yeah. thats about it. feeling much better. though my feeling much better is cos i dont feel anything. or feel less to put it more appropriately. jiayou studying everyone!
1001 miscues
finding it hard to keep certain things off my mind.
i tink they just crept silently back in. one week at home doing nth and facing nth but notes and books doesnt do good for ur mind.
needed ytd so bad. outing with grp which turned out to be exco outing. go out and catch a breather. clear my mind. get some much needed fresh air. enjoy the sun and beach at sentosa.
i duno. i tink i wasnt really in a right state ytd. distracted? zzz.. i'll just say the sun drained alot out of me. sitting on the beach tinking of so much took even more out. just draining.
just disorganized thoughts. random stuff. by the end of the day i was fried and exhausted. sunburnt. sore eyes. didnt want to go back to reality. off to play pool. miscued like some nut. great symbolism. so many times i've wondered whether the decisions i make, wat i do, all miscues. so many possible miscues. and some lucky breaks. 3 bad games.
went back freaking tired. looking forward to a good night's sleep. after suffering from my holiday insomnia syndrome. who knew i would still be suffering from insomnia. exhausted but not being able to sleep, thats the worst feeling in the world.
woke up not really in a right state. tired. still tired. went baoguan. the meeting i've been looking forward to for so long. provided 3 and a half hours of relief. high-ed for that period of time. went back home. down again. felt damn empty wargh. like all the thoughts draining me of so much.
and u wont know its cos of u.
routine routine
lol another week just came to pass. this whole week has been some boring routine for me. wake up at like 8.30-9.30, decide its too early and continue sleeping (lol sorry i'm the resident lai4 chuang2 da4 wang2). wake up at like 10.30. eat breakfast use com to check euro scores and if theres nba finals match going on root for the celtics for awhile, then stop using com and go do work.
work work work work work. zzz.. stop work in the evening and continue slacking. then go slp and the cycle starts again. ah well. at least i've been getting work done. haha. though i know i can be 10000 times more efficient than this. been burning foolscap at a record rate though. oh and pen ink for that matter.
finally got down to filing ytd. had to, cos my table looked like this:
as u can see, an extremely crammed and small portion of the table isnt exactly the most conducive place to do work. lol. cos sometimes ur pens get lost in the pile of papers and u have a hard time finding them. well basically i filed half a year's worth of work for 5 subjects in 3 hours when i could have been studying sth else. seriously all just file regularly. takes less than 1 min everytime u get a piece of work.and i feel really screwed for blocks. (who doesnt?) but 2 weeks really isnt enough time to prepare. lolol. first week CCAL camp 2nd week class cip basically drains all ur energy away. will really be happy just to pass man. i really believe in peaking at the right time for ur exams. which means i dont start too early, neither do i start too late. but the peak falls way off the 2 week period. come to tink of it, the last time i started preparing for a more than minor exam 2 weeks before was... i've nvr done that before. i prepared for my CT2 in sec 3 like 1 week before and totally screwed it up. (for the record, my definition of screwing equals to not performing up to my standards.)
lol yeah i need at least a month to peak. a month is good time. so from the start of the hols would have been good. but poof and half of that is gone. sigh. and i'm seriously mooting the idea of studying econs on the morning of the paper itself (its an afternoon paper). since whether i study or not wont make a diff, i'm going to fail it anw. might as well expend my energy on subjects i have more confidence in. but then again, of cos i wont do that. :/
lol sorry for this post i dont usually blog about work but really had to pen this down. and really been tinking alot about wat i'm doing lately. cos i really have no idea wat i wanna do in the future. so many ppl got their ambitions, their targets, their dreams. watever. i dont even noe wat course i wanna take, let alone which university, and my ambition for that matter. haiz. everything's a blur. so wat am i studying for man?! ZZZZZZ...
ache ache ache!
lol did i mention that my com crashed again? lol yah if i'm not wrong it crashed for the 2nd time in 2 months. stupid cant detect HDD. zzz..
nvm this time not much of an inconvenience. it might well be good for me man at least i can now focus more on studying for blocks.. BUT BUT BUT i just lost my celtics game along with that DDR! WTH dream roster from fantasy draft and trade man and its GONE. zzzzz.. hopefully i can salvage the game when the guy comes and repairs the com..
and back is aching again. urgh. massage no use zz.. then ankle got pain also. my body is so screwed man but wear and tear whr got so early take effect one? zzz..
ah well. at least i'm now 5 questions from being done with maths. seriously i've had it alr do too much liao at night dream also dream of maths. wth la damn win man tmr i'll be done with the 5 questions and i'm moving on man.
yay 4 more days to meeting woooooots. and xu+zhao outing on sat too. wahahaha. LOOKING FORWARD TO WEEKEND MAN! =DDD
PICS
lol been meaning to do this for quite some time. ok quite some time meaning a long time. haha. been wanting to post pics from my phone! no particular reason, just for fun and laughter peace and joy and to make this blog more interesting. lol. now that i actually have the time (lol sorry dont whack me i'm taking a break after a day of math), i shall post pics in random order. which is no order.
qite and xiping with mahjong stacko. mincong's house!
grandfather acting emo on the train. class outing i tink. haha.
i (practically) risked my life taking this photo. haha. faces of the ppl inside have been censored for their privacy and for my sake. lol. go figure wats the laughing point of this pic. (not very hard la, hint is to erm look carefully. and nth to do with the lady)
nat stuffing himself with food. as always. hes caught here sinking his teeth into pandan cake.
theres a reason why i put this after the previous pic. wats our CT rep doing?!
moral of the story: victor is very strong, dont piss him off. lol forgot wat nat did to victor to deserve this alr.. wat can 2 guys do in the toilet while changing? hmm...
"studying" in the library..
thats 2 random birds and i have no idea wat they are doing.
lol. this is the meeting when we were deciding on jiao1 jie1. me and xiping got bored and started drawing random stuff on the board..
negative demonstration of a phospholipid.
xiping draws the correct version. hahaha.
lol sian totally reminds me still got a whole load of shit to study for bio..
professor tan giving lecture. haha.
braddell mrt with jiamin. reflection shot. hoho. i look like some gui3 :/
lol. another take. haha.
thats me. hahaha.
yiusum. hahaha. after random mugging session in sch. actually got another unglam pic of jiahui but i shall spare that and spare my own life in the process.
this is a chao fugly (sorry to use this word) drawing of, erm.. my alter ego. thx to tew and alot of other ppl. lolololol.
qite. acting dead on stage during jiu4 zhi2 rehearsal. hahaha.
mincong. sitting in the middle of 4 round tables and holding 2 badminton rackets like a kid liddat during dinner after jiu4 zhi2. hahaha.
oh suchin: take 1. lol. at woodlands library with me and tew, attempting to "study" after sch.
oh suchin: take 2. now she's pouting. must be cos library no worms to eat. get canned ones next time :/
oh suchin: take 3. shes actually posing for tew's cam. must smile more like in this pic man! ok la enough of her alr, too much not good for mental health..
randomly taken during econs lecture. lol. seems like i gave up long ago..
zhengjun's back. did i take this ah?
nat and victor. not in the toilet this time. wonder wat they're staring at..
lol trying out random effects. negative of soya milk i tink. lololol.
me and victor. wahaha. acting retarded. LOL. wat do u do when u see a corner? u relac..
grandfather. during class camp. must be msging grandmother. under the barsha and under the stars. hohoho.
class guys! after class cip. wahaha. all blacks (tops nia.) haha. zhengjun isnt inside cos he left early but he was wearing black also. hahaha.
valiant attempt to act dao. viet is still smiling though. haha. i'm being hamburgered by 2 pigs nat and sengchian. expression on victor's face is PRICELESS. OMG. LOLLLLL!!!
settling bill for dinner at ajisen. *note: this is NOT from class fund. treasurer (grandfather) wasnt there. lmao!wahahaha hope u enjoyed the pics! =DDD
old!
ok i'm here to wish my bro happy birthday at this ungodly hour. 21 liao le! so old man. officially an adult liao. muahahaha.
spent the day doing summation and induction tutorial. which is like, 1 month overdue. lmfao. finally got the hang of it. though i've been doing it at a snail pace. was targeting to finish the tutorial by today. which is until now i'm still almost done. zzz..
ok short post. interview tmr. at tpy hub. wahaha. maybe i shall crash baoguan =DD
consecutive
3rd post in an hour. i really got nth to do. haha.
just wanted to say i'm really glad i've made frens i can help without considering too much, and frens i noe i can count on. its starting off on a good footing, really important. guess i've learnt my lesson from the past.
and i realised tinking so much about myself is really no use. shall let ppl discover myself for me. thx in advance then! haha.
and euro 2008 is starting in less than 2 and a half hours time. my pick to win must be netherlands. cos i'm supporting them. haha!
and i still really wanna talk to u.
and i really really really wanna go back to baoguan. for meeting. for whatnot. totally miss that place and the ppl to bits. wargh. MEETINGS RETURN QUICKLY.
无厘头
最近发生了蛮多事吧。总觉得，生命，世界，命运，对人真的好不公平，尤其是好人。好多时候，我们好像都是情形的受害者，被环境主宰着。因为其他人，而不敢做自己想要做的事，即使我们有一定的权力做那些事。因为发生的事，而不敢追求自己的目标，因为很多事会因为自己的行为而变得更复杂。
终于明白为何他会有那么多顾虑。像他说的，很多事并不是我们想的那么简单。我们必须考虑到很多因素，不能单凭感觉走。而我们，那些不可能站在同一个立场的，看到的却是截然不同的场面。我说，要做就做，不用想那么多。或许最讽刺的是，换成是我的话，也会跟他说同样的话。我了解他的心情，也因此能用语言动摇了他的心。现在不管发生什么，都会支持你的。
这事，也让我明白自我保护这句话的意思了。不让自己的感情那么容易动摇，事实上就是减少了自己受伤的机会。因为当我们知道什么是错的举动，却不自禁地去犯下那个错误，那时难受的不止自己。好的，总会是那些自动退出，自己在一旁默默承受的。原则迫使他们，不能追求他们有权利追求的所有一切。
而勇气，它真的好重要啊。有时真希望，自己可以吃了豹子胆，豁出去把自己想做的一切都完成了。要时间吧，时机一成熟，我或许也会做同样的事。
class cip
class cip was an absolute eye opener. though not an experience to rmbr. i rmbr by the 3rd day of the camp i was literally crying for blood. lol. to put things in a nutshell: the kids totally pissed everyone off. almost. almost everyone. not almost piss us off. so we were pissed off. lolol.
lets just say everything from the adult camp i/c to the kids were wrong. shldnt say much. maybe i couldnt handle the kids there. but i always thought kids from under privileged families shld be more mature? ok if their parents didnt bring them up well i got nth to say, but kids from less well to do families shld be even more mature shldnt they?
and pri 3 to sec 1. they can tink cant they? and secondary 1 u can stop calling them children alr. ah well. lets just say i met damn aa damn dishonest damn naughty damn immature damn not sensible damn watever kids there. and treating them with love and care, simply isnt the way to teach them. ah well, at least it was pleasant interacting with well-behaved kids. especially those quieter ones.
camp commandant is the ultimate win. cos by the end of the cip, we were all wondering whether hes a pervert or, well, sth else. lol. i mean, showing wat can be close to porn isnt exactly one's idea of "fun and entertainment" is it? and engrish must be really hard to learn :/ suffice to say, his name is now the ultimate insult.
ok no more on that. at least i had fun with the class. 2 morning breakfast sessions when everyone still havent wake up. hahaha. so a certain bird will keep on going "huh?" to all ur qns. pigging out with the official pig is fun as well! lmaooo. and finally spent substantial time with seng chian. haha. hes totally a part of the class la.
went queensway and ikea on wed. with tew suchin nat and victorrrr. orange jerseys are nice. sorry i still havent given up on the notion of a class jersey. hahaha. even though i dont mind a class tee, a class jersey sounds 10000 times more appealing. and a design would have been better off on a class pullover anw. ah well. shall see. just glad the class is more like, together now. though i tink still got a long way to go.
class dinner on thur! ajisen. lol. freaking crazy fun. i tink we (as in the guys, consisting of me nat sengchian victor and viet, made alot of noise. ok viet didnt make so much noise). lol. ok just had alot of fun. then mini stoning session at starbucks with nicole nat suchin victor sengchian and weiting. with cameo appearances by hongye and huirong. lol. made alot of noise in starbucks also. somehow stoning sessions have a familiar feel to it. chatting is simply too appealing. ah well.
now its really time to settle down and get serious work done. which is sth i havent really done for the past 2 days. went for massage today. trying to find a solution to the chronic backaches. quite ok i guess, not say very very very comfortable. but can feel some of the effects alr. ah well. i really dont want to ache all over when i grow old. :// and red eyes. need to find a solution also. wargh. they're not even sore pls. -.-
siahhhh laaa. siannnnn. zzzzz... hope the "exco" didnt screw the whole world up. haiz.
乱
4 days at class cip. 1 day orientation, 3 days of day camp.
after those 4 days i'm totally drained. lol. tired.
and like so many little things happened culminating in one major one. ah well, i'm behind u. all the way.
ah well, elaboration another day.
idle
i just enjoyed one whole day of doing absolutely nothing. damn havent done that for a long time, if doing absolutely nothing can even be considered doing sth. ah well, forgive me lah i've been looking forward to this day for a damnnnnn loooong time. the only drawback is that doing absolutely nothing is ultimate boring so it shldnt be done often.
so after today, i have 4 consecutive days of class CIP to look forward to. yay, get to play with a bunch of kids. oh and meeting with MP at boon lay tmr. that one, nth much to say about that. just hope all goes well.
and i finally had 12 hours of slp today. the feeling is ultimate lethargy after that. so i'm very tired now. and i'm off to slp again. haha. nites world! =D
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